Wifey Wednesday...Go 3 for 3....

Todays Wifey Wednesday comes from Christie at Garden of Holiness.

Todays topic is ...................

3 Things to Keep in Mind

1. You picked him.

2. You can't change him.

3. You didn't marry a girl.

1. You picked him.

How ture is that!?! In one way or another we all picked who we ended up with. We may not have realized that all the things we thought were cute while we were dating we going to end up getting on our nerves, but we did know they existed. I mean come on....did you really think he was gonna start putting the seat down just because you married him? Or that just because your married now...he's not going to still be a mama's boy? Not.......I mean after all he was that way when you picked him!!! Reguardless of what flaws he has at some point you most have thought he was a good catch.



2. You Can't Change Him.

This is oh so ture. I mean while there are probably things about my husband I would love to change, there are probably that many things about me that he would love to change too. But if you stop to think about it.....do we really want to change them. I mean all those qirky little things that drive us crazy do help to make up who they are. After all there was a point in time when we thought those things we cute. The same things that now drive us crazy. What's the point in changing someone into what you want them to be if it means them not being who they are? When you try to put someone in a box, eventually that box starts to suffacate them and they want out. I don't want my marriage to be the box that my husband wants out of. I want him to feel like it's a place where he is safe and free to be himself.

3. You didn't marry a Girl.

This makes me think of the Book "Guys Are From Mars, Girls Are From Venus ". Someone gave me this book as wedding gift. I laughed when I opened it, but about 5 months after being married I found myself reading it. It was like I woke up and thought I married an alien:) I'm just kidding, but it really did help me understand the way men think about things.



I have heard many women say that they "wear the pants" in their relationship. I thought being married was a partnership. In a partnership both individuals work together toward a common goal. That is how I try to look at things in my marriage. I'm not saying I'm always successful, because God knows there are times that I just want to be right. I don't want to plead my case, I just want what I want (don't judge you know you are same way sometimes). So I guess it would be fair to say in those situations I want to "wear the pants". I guess I'm lucky because Geran is good about letting me have my way in those times. But just like he lets me have my I also let him have his too. I guess that's what makes our "partnership" work.

Wifey Wednesday....What Lens Do You See Your Husband Through?

Shiela from http://www.tolovehonorandvacuum.com/ came up with an amazing Wifey Wednesday for today. She summed up the challenge by saying, "Quite often we don't see people how they really are. We look at them with our own biases.For instance, before we get married we tend to see our husbands (then our fiances) through rose-coloured glasses. We may notice that they do annoying things, but we think of these as "cute quirks" that they will likely grow out of.Then, once we're married, those glasses often fall off and we start noticing all the things that are wrong with our husbands.But we have other lenses, too, and we need to be aware of them so that we can make sure we're not being unfair to our husband"



What an interesting topic for me today!! Monday was Geran and I's anniversary. We have been married 7 years. It's amazing to realize it has really been that long. I would have to agree with Shiela though in that when you first get married there definatly is a reality check. I can remember about six months into my marriage, I woke up one morning and remember asking myself "who is this person I married". Not that I didn't love him, but it's like all the things I loved about him seemed to masked by all the things that got on my nerves. I went to work that day, and spent the whole day making a list of pros and cons, trying to prove to myself that there were more pros......at the end of the day when I looked at my list I realized that there only 6 things on the con list. Six petty things had been making me miserable. I was allowing those 6 things to define my relationship. Allowing those 6 things to make me think my marriage wasn't worth it.



I sit here 7 years later thinking about the day I wrote the list. The list that I now know could have easily been the end of my marriage. The list that I was trying to use to justify not being happy and giving up. What would I have done had there been more cons than pros? Would I have really walked away from a perfectly good marriage? I don't know, but I'm so thankful that I didn't put myself in that situation. For whatever reason when I started writting that list all the cons I thought were there all stems from the 6 petty things. Six things that I knew where there from the start, and honestly the six things that I thought were cute when we were just dating:)



Seven years later, we are still here. My marriage is better now than it has ever been, and I deeply expect it to continue to get better. It was shortly after I made that list that I realized that loving someone isn't always about the sappy feeling in the pit of stomach. There are days and situations that mask that feeling, but love isn't always that feeling. Sometimes love isn't the passionate kiss or a touch that takes your breath away; sometimes it's sitting patiently and listening, or doing something that normally isn't your responsibility just because you know your spouse is stressed or tired. Even more than that sometimes love is walking away when you're angry even though you think you're right. You have to make a choice everyday to love. So from that day on, I have spent my days choosing to love.

I have an amazing husband. He isn't only my husband he is my best friend. I love him dearly and can't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone other than him:) It hasn't always been an easy ride, but it has been a great ride.

Anniversary

Geran and I have been married 6 years June, 29, 2008. This picture is from the Grille 225 in downtown Charleston, where we had a lovely Anniversary dinner before meeting my parents and sister at Ocean Lakes the next day. It was an amazing dinner!!! I would highly recommend this resturant to anyone looking for a romantic get away:)

As I sit here and think of fact that we have been married for 6 years, it is hard for me to believe. I can still remember when we first got married. I was so nervous, I thought I was going to die. I remember telling his mom that I couldn't do this. I think I was more worried about walking down the asile in front of everyone than I was about getting married in general:) It wasn't Brent (Geran's roommate from college) came in with a card Geran had gotten me that I realized I was the luckiest person in the world.

I am not going to sit here and say that it has always been easy. It definately hasn't always been easy. My grandma was so right when she said you only think you know someone until you live with them. The getting used to being with each other all the time. Not being able to "go home" and cool off when you don't exactly see eye to eye with each other. Learning that you have to value each other's oppions over the oppions of your parents (this was the hardest thing for me being a daddy's girl). The first time something went wrong with my car I remember calling Geran. I really listened to what he had to say, but then doubting that he knew as much as my dad, I called him just to make sure he agreed with what Geran had said:) Of course, as time went on there were many other difficult times that we had to learn to work through. There have been times when it would have been easier to walk away, but I am so glad that we both decided to stick it out. They say that the first five years of marriage are the hardest. Geran and I have definatly had our share of trials, with the last two years being the hardest. With me becoming very sick unexpectedly two years ago, our marriage has definatly had to go through things that most people don't have to go through until later in life if they face them at all (that's another entry). With that being said, I can definatly say that this past year has been the best by far. We have definatly learned to value the time we have with each other and that noone no matter how young is promised tomorrow. You have live each day as if it were your last, and make sure that the other person knows, even if you aren't with them tomorrow, that you loved them more than they will ever know.

I am very proud to call him my husband, my partner, and my best friend. There have definatly some good, some bad, and some indifferent years, but I wouldn't trade one second of one day. The past 6 years have definatly been 6 of the best years of my life. I LOVE YOU, GERAN!!!!